Where, oh where has my Spring gone? Last week was absolutely brilliant-overnight rain, chilly but clear mornings, followed by the sun shining brightly and warming up everything from the tulips, to the squirrels and bees, and us lovely mommies all gathered at pick-up time. We conveniently forgot the homework that lay in wait, and the inevitable child meltdown and we hung around the park after school for the kids to dispel energy, and to enjoy a much-needed catch up.
But damn, you should see the week that has been. Inclement weather rolled in on Saturday and it has become progressively worse. Snow in Switzerland, and in parts of the Vosges, down here at almost sea-level in the basin between two mountain ranges, the wind has blown icy cold, and it reminds me very much of experiencing the Highveld weather that comes from there being ‘snow on the berg’. Fuck, it’s bitter… Can you imagine my dismay yesterday when I saw a teeny tiny snow-flurry? For the fourth consecutive day Anton has driven the girls to school, so I am still in my pj’s, with an intended list of household chores that I should attend to, right after breakfast, tea, and a quick hello to you my lovelies! (There is a public transport greve on today, and given the awful weather, I jumped at the opportunity to put the girls into cantine today so that I can avoid a possible meltdown in trying to get home for lunch. Granted, there is ALSO a school services greve on as well, so the girls are going to be eating a cold meal, plus they’ll have to deal with unfamiliar staff, but they’ll cope. And since my day is not being broken up with fetching and carrying, I have a little time to do the ironing, and say hello!)
I won’t bore you- particularly because I don’t have much news. I am fighting with the dark matter in my psych because of the ‘this time last year’ memories. A year ago was when Mom went into hospital for the very last time. On one hand I allow myself to feel pain, but it is very easy to distract me from that train of thought, thus I don’t mope around too much. But the other train of thought is ‘how quickly has time passed?’ My goodness. I can’t think of a space in time that has disappeared like the recent year has. There is a part of me that just wants to stop the clock. I don’t want that time to come when I have to say “Mom passed away two years ago”- I want to stay as close to her as I possibly can, but time doesn’t allow for that I guess.
But listen, the real reason for my writing this morning, is to tell you that Chapter 76 is closed, and we have decided not to take the opportunity to move to Mud Island. We have been lingering on that chapter for too long, having weighed up pro’s and con’s, discussed what we think we need and want, but without being able to come to a definitive decision to grab the bull by the horns regardless of what the financial offer was, I think we realised that now is not the right time. I am happy that we’re staying and with it comes a whole new set of intentions. I realise that I pretty much wrote off 2015 due to ‘mourning’, and the school year that doesn’t end at Christmas and begin in the New Year still throws me off balance, but I am going to push myself a bit more this time. With some wonderful friends and family who niggle at my psyche, I will slowly, step by step, claim back my soul.
What it means is that you can still come and visit us here. Europe is much more exciting than England, and we are looking forward to planning a summer holiday for 2017- maybe a villa in Portugal…an early 40th birthday bash my friends… anyone keen to start saving?
Anyway, I’m going to leave it at this for now. I will continue to live in hope that a real Spring season raises out of the decay of winter. In the mean time, I will enjoy my pansies.
Before I sign off, I want to invite you (if you want to) to look through the photos from Berlin, on this link.
https://gaenordup67.wordpress.com/postcards-from-berlin/
Otherwise, that’s me for the day. Big hug and kisses to you,
Love
Me.
Xxx
Pinot, Bretzels, and Cathedrals 