July 12th, here it is. 5 years ago we were having lunch at a little pizzeria in Eckblosheim, France, with Anton’s new boss and HR lady. His boss isn’t the same person, the HR lady has moved on. Just as much as life is known to do I guess.
In trying to find a focus point for this piece, I went through my photos from 5 years ago, to be able to include some but quite honestly, I couldn’t choose just one, and ended up making a collection of collages. (That really is an indication of massive overkill, isn’t it? Well, tough…)
In doing those collages, I figured that it doesn’t serve much purpose to write a book of what we’ve learnt here in 5 years, to regale again what we’ve done, and the numerous friendships we’ve gained and lost, and I am going to try to do this bloggy-list thing. You know- that funny, short and succint piece, the devoid of sentiment kind of blog, so that I don’t make too much of a big deal and bore you to tears again. I’m not good at it, so I will probably be way off the mark.
So here goes. (I will still be here on Monday I think, so sorry if this is late).
- On the surface, living in our part of Europe can be like living in South Africa. For the most part, our food is the same. Our cultural identity is familiar. Religion is the same. The time zones are close enough. Even the landscape is familiar, give or take the city-scape (here) or the savanna horizons (in SA). Like I say to people, we are not in China, , the poles, a Middle East country or the Amazonian forest, so the sense of familiarity is always close.
- Once you start digging, it’s then that you notice the difference. Language, obviously, (but again, its not Chinese, or Cyrillic script that we need to figure out.) Seeing your tax money actually at work- which covers basically the biggest differences. Do I need to list them?
- You know how the old adage goes “What you get out of life is directly proportionate to what you put in”? I’m still not sure about that. Granted, some of the more exciting holidays we’ve had have been taken with a little extra cash flow. However, I do wonder what the future holds for Alex and Beth. We keep their time away from school relatively empty (until it suits our needs, of course, because parents perogative right? Does that make me the worst kind of parent?). What it means, is that they’re not good swimmers, nor can they hit a tennis ball to save their life. Music is what other people produce and we get to enjoy, and discipline starts at home right?
- 2 years ago I had a moment when I thought I needed to return to SA, but I wasn’t ready to quit Europe, to not see all the countries on our doorstep. Yes, I love having all of Europe with a few hundred airport hours away. (Convenient as it is to have low cost airlines dotted around everywhere, cheap travel IS NOT for sissies). However, trying to find that perfect holiday takes planning, so I guess the adage I listed above is more true than I realise. Since September 2016, I have been to Austria, Brussels, Holland, Ireland and Norway, and travel is good for the heart, for the soul and the photo albums in my case. (I need to set about displaying all of these photos somehow, just not sure my hubby is going to love me for doing it, as it means some extra work for him.)
- People, friends and acquaintances have come and gone like dandelion seeds. That’s an entire chapter on its own. I think we’re going to be saying goodbye to the very best of them later this summer. I try not to think about it too much. (Not to forget, however, is those friends that we have made as kids [and young adults] ourselves, they have certainly stood the test of time, and distance, to whom I will be forever indebted.)
- Winter coats. I’ve discovered you can never have enough. I’m not a handbag kind of girl, and I actually have clothes divided into ‘day wear’ and ‘evening wear’, but last week in Norway, I bought a new winter coat. Because it was red. And it was Norwegian. (Now here’s a subtle change in me. I’m all about practical clothes that fit a multitude of purposes, hence the vast array of black base colours in my wardrobe.)
- Can you believe Bebi is still with us? Every holiday that Beth goes on, Bebi comes with. He’s not so active in the day to day travel anymore, for fear of going AWOL, but every trip, there he is. (Bebi is as old as Alex, who was never attached to doudous as a kid, thus became Beth’s after the AWOLness of Molly.)
- I see the wrinkles have crept up on me without me realising it. The same goes for Anton’s preggy belly. I take full blame for that one, I’m ever so grateful for the times he comes to the pub with me, and drinking water is nowhere near as fulfilling, and thus the 2 have gone hand in hand. Besides, I really do like the taste of beer, and when you get to taste beers in different parts of the world, overlooking somewhere you’ve never seen before or will again, its even more fulfilling.
- I’ve learned that seasons really do exist. And as much as I don’t love winter, I have recently come to see the benefit of it, and learnt to appreciate it from the perspective of having a garden, and the rebirth of life around us. You don’t really get that in SA much.
- Most of all, I think more than ever, I can say that I have learnt that life is about balance. Not necessarily in a yoga or Buddhist kind of way, although perhaps yes, in a yoga/Buddhist kind of way. Regardless, life is for the living, so take the blah blah fish-paste cliché and go with it. Drink a beer (or glass of milk) overlooking the North Sea, have a Guinness in an Irish pub, seek out the highest point of a place and Instagram it for what it’s worth. If you’ve done this, you’ve researched stuff, you’ve learnt something (well, at least I hope you have anyway). Take silly selfies, with or without your kids, because you know nobody else is going to leave a memory of yourself anywhere. Eat street food. Walk ’til your feet fall off. Run in fear of those demons, chase an elusive dream. Be angry, be sad, be happy, be graceful, be mischievous, be respectful. Always learn something new, either about yourself, or whats going on around you. And then, take time to be at peace within yourself. Be humble, be quiet, be still and be grateful for what you have been given. Slow down, observe the dandelion seeds floating by, embrace your nearest and dearest, and make sure they know that you love them. In whatever way you choose.
We haven’t set ourselves goals for the next 5 years. We’ve learn’t to not live our lives by such a set of expectations, and although there is merit to forward planning, we’ve learnt that things happen that you have no control over, so sometimes it’s best to just go with it. I’m still not very successful at tidying up my house. I try, but it’s just not interesting. I’m sorry if you’ve been here and seen cobwebs in the corners. I still haven’t learnt how to avoid conflict with my younger daughter; I fear I never will. I lack discipline in way too many areas to avoid my knees looking like cows knees. However, I am so grateful for what I have got. This day. This hour. This minute.
And forgive me while I have words with my youngest about the craft paint on the wall.
I’m kidding. She has learnt stuff too.
Have a celebratory beverage with us whenever you manage to sit and read this. Thank you, as always, for your love and friendship. And cheers, to the year ahead, wherever it may lead you.
Lots of love,
Us.
Pinot, Bretzels, and Cathedrals 