Pinot, Bretzels, and Cathedrals

Today dawned unceremoniously at 6am- alone in my bed because the family are away, the dog barking from her slovenly position at my feet and my head a little denser than other mornings due to the drinks I enjoyed last night with a friend.

Thandi was annoyed by something outside and I figured an early morning walk would benefit us both as were due to hit highs of 36 degrees today. She was reluctant (as usual) and for a second or 2 she stood on the terrace and barked, the hair rising up like she’s a Rhodesian Ridgeback. No sign of anything moving, not another doggo friend in sight, I suspect a cat had welcomed themselves to our lawn.

I returned 40 minutes later, scanned my phone for messages (a work WhatsApp message last night has set me off irrationally), dropped an apology to a colleague who I owed one to, and then opened Facebook. Today the little alert to the ‘memories’ notification popped in early, and having scrolled all the way down, I saw my status update from 10 years ago:

Subsequently I’ve been pottering around at home while taking in my milestone. It’s come on a day where I have also realised the implications of Alex’s recent end-of-collège exam results – her Mention TRES BIEN is the highest accolade at this level.

And of course- it brings tears to my eyes when I think about how proud I am of her. I continue to think back to her first days at school in 2013. We were living in a suburb outside the main city in a temporary rental until our container arrived. That August, 3 days before schools reopened, we found out that the International School didn’t have any spaces for her and our only school option then became the local pre-primary. It was literally across the road from us so on Day 1 we walked over- a 1 minute walk- and found her class. Between all of us, it was terrifying with the complete absence of spoken French, so we were incredibly grateful that the headmistress and Alex’s class teacher spoke a little English, and were so welcoming and kind. At lunch I went to collect her as we hadn’t known to register her for cafeteria lunch (not that that would have been possible or necessary) and then walked her back afterwards. This went on for 2 weeks. Beth’s first week was a one-day affair: the little-ies don’t attend school full time for 2 weeks, so my focus was on Alex at drop off. Each time I watched her walk across the playground, alone, not able to strike up a conversation, not sure what the playground games were about, but she held her head high and did what we needed her to, without once shedding a tear or fighting to come home.

She has continued to be like this ever since- barre last spring when everything fell apart, but that’s a story for another day. Having come through that and we’re now on the other side, she has worked so hard to achieve this year, and I look back to her walk across the playground to now, her ability to persevere, to be strong while feeling vulnerable, I am so proud of her.

If you’ve been here since Day 1, you’ll know that shortly after the kids started at that tiny pre-primary in the suburbs, there opened up a position for both girls at the International School. Thus we ended up moving into the city, changing schools and forged a different path to where we might have ended up. The International Schools are filled with a wide variety of other nationalities all in the system to include a extra language course aside from the French syllabus. Our kids do a true French syllabus, and have added English classes on top of that. The other options are Spanish, Italian, German, Polish and Arab. It is a fairly unique situation, as I have discovered not all French cities have the benefit of this set-up. That said, we live in a city with European Institutions so there is a bigger need for it. Needless to say, we have been wholly grateful to the system, and it’s because of the international community that my girls are the girls they are today. We have made friends with families of all cultural backgrounds, we have learnt so much more about the world than we would have anywhere else.

It’s been through the school system that I have found a wonderful network of friends and so when hubby and The Drama get antsy about missing boerewors and braaivleis, family and familiarity (I have no idea how come Beth finds the need to seek familiarity with a country she has barely lived in- she is so much more on the pulse of all things trending in France than she cares to admit), and talk about finding a job back home, I get more anxious than I should. The idea of giving up this life is a hard one to process.

Then there were the days that I filled with scribblings and blogging and photography, 3 years of being a stay at home mum. It had never been anticipated to continue on that long, but I got too comfy being looked after and having an easy life. Easy in the sense that I didn’t have work stress. Less easy given the financial pressure I put on Anton, and when the time came, a difficult pill to swallow acknowledging the level of complacency I had sat with for so long.

Have I let my career go to waste? Its a debateable topic, but in the end, it’s only me to whom I have to answer. Had I stayed in South Africa, where would I have gone after Compass? Because I needed to put that one behind me. Here, in a country that mainlines food, whose national treasure is their claim to culinary fame, I have found myself reflecting ALOT on where I am today. But that’s what happens when you get older and other peoples lives linked to your own are impacted by your decisions.

Or, and here’s the question, is this simply the result of creating a life away from where you were raised?

But I digress.

In the days following my start of writing this, I’ve been at work and have been mentally going through our family’s achievements in the last decade. It’s not fame and notoriety, but we’re definitely embracing the small successes!

• Fluent French without much of a foreign accent for my kids.
• My own French has me to a point where people don’t put me as English 🇬🇧 spoken originally and I can communicate fully with my work colleagues and peers with relative ease. I have been grateful that nobody spends those hours correcting me- perhaps half the time they don’t really undertsand me…
• I’m working as a chef in a French restaurant, and having the mental strength to know what I want and what I don’t want. That’s a big deal in my life. 10 years ago, I never imagined being able to forge my way to this point.
• Anton has achieved a level of success and notoriety in his office (even if his French hasn’t achieved the same level as ours). Nobody can come close to him in the annual cycling competition 🙂
• We’re financially stable. Although still too terrified to buy a house. We endeavoured that this year but came up short when we discovered interest rates has shot up.
• We know what we want. We have managed to highlight items that are important and ply a signification role in our lives and work towards that. We don’t have end goals in mind, but we’ll figure it out as we go.
• We own a dog.
• I cycle places. And have to confess- I still think I’m too terrified to drive which is why the driving licence stuff stays at the bottom of my to-do list. Also, in this regard, my children can navigate the public transport network. Like bosses.
• I adore my writing hobby- it has brought me so much joy, and maybe one day to see my name in print (or at least that hasn’t been paid for by me 😉 ) will be an aspiration.
• 10 years ago I wrote about how much but missed the wonderful friends I had left behind in South Africa. Now I can say that I have an even bigger, equally wonderful group of friends here in Strasbourg and others who have moved away- England. America. Germany. Belgium. The Netherlands. Rwanda. Australia. Iceland. The other side of France. We have friends from more nationalities than I ever thought I would have and this journey wouldn’t have been the same with you.
• My appreciation of the seasons and history and architecture and the ability to google stuff without having to pop in a the French library 😉
• European travel. The opportunity to widen our horizons. And sadly England remains off limits until I get that French passport. Because that visa application is truly the worst experience ever.
• I forage. Well, sort of. Maybe in time I will get better, and become a medicine woman. or the Culinary Witch I claim to be on my insta.
• I’ve grieved the loss of a parent from abroad. That shit puts grief into a whole other compartment
• We’ve raised 2 generous, friendly, respectful, socially conscious daughters in a dual-cultural environment. That takes guts.

And so, while my wireless keyboard slowly dies on me, I’m going to wrap this up with a series of photos. My kids and Anton aren’t with me today to have a family selfie holding up 10 fingers as we do. (The girls are enjoying the beach in Zululand with their cousins and aunt and uncle, thanks Gra, and hubby is working at his sisters), but next week we will open up a bottle of South African MCC bubbles to celebrate together. And if you see me on the streets or cafes, come join me.

To Anton, Alex and Beth, thank you for being with me over the last 10 years. We’ve had a ride and here’s to another decade together, hopefully with a French passport in tow, and a drivers licence- at least 2, being from my kids that is…

And lastly, Bonne Fête à quatorze juillet tout le monde. Until next month.

A plus. Xxx